Movie Ideas

For all the people out there whinging constantly about how crap movies 'today' are, there are seldom people putting their hats in the ring, and coming up with some decent new ideas for movies.

Well firstly, this week, let's identify some of problems apparent with today's cinematic experience:

1) Movies are designed to appeal to a wider audience, which simply translates to 'are designed to appeal to the stupidest person you know', achieved of course by skimping on decent script writing, and compensating with gratuitous over-emphasis on special FX.

This arguement is flawed. 'DUPLO' LEGO, for instance, is designed for children 4 and up. This doesn't mean that everyone over 4 loves to play with Duplo constantly. Rather, it means that anyone over four will not try to shove the large pieces of Duplo down their throats. The analogy breaks down of course, as grown men and women wander off to lap up another block-buster they 'kinda knew would suck'. 

2) Movies take no risks and pull no punches. Producers are funding an investment, not ze revolution, friend.

3) I didn't even blink when that dude just killed 400 people with a metal pole and then flew off into space. That's okay, neither did I.

4) I lead such a non-proactive existence, I've come to depend on movies and TV as a sole source of entertainment. Yep, nations of watchers. Nope, not referring to Buffy.

5) 'I'm a Stupid American' Attitude. The prevailing attitude towards film-making provides the most cause for concern- are you trying to be heard over the guy standing next to you? Well, why not just shout the same thing they're saying, but a little bit louder? That would be really creative. It was used in primary schools, and now it apparently represents the creative process for movie making. (See also the overuse of FX in movies).

6) There's no good films being made anymore...  There's a couple of things wrong with this. Firstly, there is, you just have to look. Go see Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi. Secondly, movies are far more accessible today, and additionally, they've been at the caper for over 100 years. A new movie is competing not just against the other new films, but 40 odd years of quality movies. Why raise the bar? -Just get stupid people to watch your films instead, as they are ignorant.

However fear not, as there is a method to get movies back on the straight and narrow:

(a) Damn I use a lot of bullet points.

(b) Stop watching crap movies out of some kind of misguided lethargy. Important- don't let's stop watching movies altogether, as this will just make the problem worse, as the creative departments will try to solve the problem with more special effects, and by targeting a wider audience still, like only good morons can. Just only go and watch movies that someone smarter than you recommends.

(c) Come back here next week for the exciting conclusion.

(d) Actually, damn it, add this page to your favourites. Do yourself the favour.