Welcome to the Internet.

UPDATE 8/2/06: You're all wasting your time! I haven't updated in ages! Fear not though, I have a few updates cooking, so keep your eyes peeled, and also as soon as March comes around it'll be back to normal updates!

You gotta be stoked. Meantime, check out more of the zany links, I think this ruse has actually boosted my Google placing... ..not very well, but it has boosted it.

UPDATE 2/1/06: It's the second day of a new year, and as you may have observed, yes, the site has just cracked the 1000 HITS!... Hooray!

The site was started on 26/July/05, and has been running for 161 days. This gives the site an overall average of 6.21 hits per day! Thankyou to Geoff for providing around half of those.

New pages will be up soon, expect them in the next couple of days!

Meantime, some links to pages we all ought to see.

UPDATE 23/11/2005: Well hello there faithful internet nerds! Yes, yes, it's been a while since you've had anything to read here, and yes, doing that half-baked cult quiz over and over again has become rather tedious. FEAR NOT! I've been doing exams, but have accumulated just over a boat-load of new stuff to put up here! Are you going to get it all at once? Let's see what we've got...

1. The Tim Interviews -  view the official version right here!
2. Guitar Craziest -  the guitar lessons continue with great aplomb.
3. Box Man -  you must Obey Box Man (may or may not contain subliminal programming).
4. Movie Ideas III -  doctors warn: more than two more good ideas and peoples' heads may start exploding.
5. Binge Drinking -  a how-to guide.

That will do for the moment..

 

UPDATE 12/10/05: Yes, yes, it's time to go Guitar Crazier !!

UPDATE 30/9/05: 500 visitors have clicked on Patrick Scanlon.com and liked what they saw! 182 have been converted into guitar virtuosos just by association, a further 347 have had the humour part of their brain overloaded, and the rest just want their zero cents back. Congratulations to Geoff Osborne for nudging up the 500th hit... good on ya. Meantime, go Guitar Crazy (see below).

 

At PatrickScanlon.com we are commited to producing:

• Another stock website, packed with useless information, clogging up the internet with tales of teen relationship drama and mobile phone blues.
• Blow by blow accounts of everything that happens to me every single day, prefaced by statements of 'how bored I am right now'. Additional possibilities here include statements about my current mood, and which illegally downloaded 128kbit mp3 I am currently detuning my ears with.
• Philosophical rants about the meaning of existance, in the context of being 13 and having just had another teen-angst-filled-semi-breakup with the girlfriend. 'If only just she understood how much I like her! *sniff*'.
• Bad poetry.
• Another avenue for you to be bombarded with annoying advertising for things you really don't need. Does anyone actually go and 'get more smilies'? I say yes, and here they are:

• Finally, we are also commited to rock. Yes, intangible statements with little real meaning. No, not really. I am tempted to define the amount Patrick Scanlon rocks by saying, 'yeah, we're not like those fakers on the MTV and that, man', but it's essentially a case of you're an idiot if you do like MTV, and you're an idiot if you don't like it. I say take the third option and just ignore it.

 

Now, if it's your first time here on the internet, you may be wondering what the internet can be used for. Well,

The possibilities are endless... (TM),

but they generally fall into the following three categories:

1) Pornography,

2) Downloading Music,

and   3) Downloading Movies.

More recently, the following uses have also developed;

4) Buying stuff you don't need.

5) Bitching about movies/tv/music/'big corporations'.

6) Bitching incessantly about life to an imaginary audience.

Here at PatrickScanlon.com, we theorise the 7th option:

7) Patrick comes out of the screen and eats your lunch for you.

 

Click on one of the links to the left. I dare you.